It has been quite a while since I’ve blogged. In that time I have started my new job as a Boutique Consultant at Stein Mart. Dressing women and helping them feel good about themselves is a great job to have. I’m fortunate.
As for my sewing, I haven’t been at my machine in a while since I am full time at my job plus my commute is kind of long as well. I know, these sound like excuses. Any ‘driven’ person would work on their dream as their second job. I don’t deny that. My problem is that I have so many passions I don’t just choose one. There are nights that I am awake at 3am and having insomnia. I find something constructive to do that gets me closer to my goals and dreams. I envy people who have that ONE thing that they do and that they make a living doing. But I don’t envy their journey. I enjoy my own.
My latest find is a fashion illustration instruction book and I look forward to building my toolbox of dry and wed media to really dive in to this art form. More to come later.
As for inspirations and inspirational people, I am pleased to have found Kayemah McEntyre, the 18yr old who broke the internet with her amazing prom dress. Read about her here: http://hiphopwired.com/2015/06/09/black-girls-rock-18-year-old-prom-dress-broke-internet/ I wish her all the best at Parsons.
I want to talk about something that is new to me. I’ve never been a woman who had an issue with body image until recently. I find myself gaining weight and slowing down lately. I’m not happy about this considering that I was a dancer for 10 years and always had a lean physique. Many people look at me and say that I am small. But the woman I see in the mirror is large. I weigh only 139 lbs yet when I look in the mirror, I see a woman well over 200 lbs. At the risk of forming an eating disorder, I am openly blogging about this so I can keep it in check. I know I can’t trust what my eyes see when I look in the mirror and I am seeking out more ways to love, appreciate and honor myself so I don’t lose sight of the person I really am.
I am making a conscious effort to incorporate more water into my diet. I am slowly but surely exercising more and I am monitoring my self talk. Instead of saying “why can’t I be like so and so” or “why can’t I be size 4” I am saying “I am beautiful. Period.” “I am lovely just the way I am, inside and out.” Some people may be shocked that I struggle with this but the way I see it, it’s not a struggle if I am aware of it, face it head on and combat it in a quest to overcome it. I hope that if there is anyone else who feels this way about herself, we can discuss it and be accountable to each other about it.
Well that’s all that is on my heart today. I wish everyone a happy, fashionably fabulous day!